I swiped right on a blind date, a profile picture. She asked me to pick her up, so i did, but I wasn’t expecting much. I went up to the door expecting 400 lbs of desperation, but she answer the door 5 foot 2 with baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde curls and all the right curves in all the right places. I said WOW and gave her my name. She gave me hers, so i asked what she did.
She said “I’m a Sunday school teacher.”
I said “Well, I Ain’t never been with a Christian woman before but I’m open minded about the whole affair.”
So we got in my Corvette and i was trying to impress her now. I headed to the fancyest place in town that didn’t take reservations. I asked her if she’d like to smoke a joint while we wait.
She said “Heavens no! What would i tell my sunday school children?” And I apologized.
I figure weed’s 50/50 some people do some people don’t, so i took a few puffs and then we got a table.
She ordered the lobster, I ordered the steak. I asked for the 2nd most expensive bottle of wine on the list, but when our waiter came to pour it, she declined saying “Heavens no! What would I tell my Sunday school children?”
I knew right then and there it was a bust. We ate our pricey meals. We talked and laughed. Had a great time at dinnet bur I drank that whole pricey bottle by myself thinking her Christ was one helluva cock blocker.
So I’m driving her home and we pass a cheap motel. I figure I’ve got nothing left to lose, so I say “Why don’t we get a room and fuck like bunnies?”
She says “I thought you’d never ask!”
I say “really? What will you tell your Sunday school children?”
She says, “The same thing I tell them every week…
YOU DON’T HAVE TO DRINK AND SMOKE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!”
Happy cake day: reposting my most liked joke. Hope you approve!