Littl‌‌e J‌‌ohnn‌‌y w‌‌a‌‌s t‌‌ol‌‌d b‌‌‌‌y h‌‌i‌‌s f‌‌riend‌‌s t‌‌ha‌‌t a‌‌dult‌‌s h‌‌av‌‌e a‌‌‌‌ d‌‌ee‌‌p d‌‌ar‌‌k s‌‌ecre‌‌t a‌‌n‌‌d c‌‌a‌‌n b‌‌‌‌e e‌‌asil‌‌y m‌‌anipulated.

Johnn‌‌y d‌‌ecide‌‌s t‌‌‌‌o t‌‌es‌‌t i‌‌t‌‌. H‌‌‌‌e c‌‌ome‌‌s h‌‌ome‌‌, g‌‌oe‌‌s u‌‌‌‌p t‌‌‌‌o h‌‌i‌‌s m‌‌othe‌‌r a‌‌n‌‌d s‌‌ays‌‌, “‌‌Mom‌‌, I‌‌‌‌ k‌‌no‌‌w e‌‌verything.‌‌” M‌‌o‌‌m s‌‌hushe‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m a‌‌n‌‌d g‌‌ive‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m $‌‌10. “Jus‌‌t d‌‌on’‌‌t t‌‌el‌‌l D‌‌ad‌‌”…

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A man is sitting in a cafe

when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting “Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest”. The man runs out…

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A man dies, and wakes up on a beach…

There are girls playing beach volleyball, barbeques everywhere, laughter and joy. All of a sudden, Satan comes up to him. “Welcome to hell. Enjoy yourself, have a drink, have a…

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The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well” said the director, “we fill up…

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program. The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic,…

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An old man is selling watermelons…

His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10 A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. “That’d be 3 dollars”, says the old man. The young…

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There was a woman who had 100 kids..

She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids…

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A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work…

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A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver’s license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit. He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?” She responds “I’ll bet you $100…

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A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, “My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to the…

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