A man lays sprawled across three entire seats at a posh theater. Before the show has even started, an usher walks by and notices the man.

“Sir, you’re only allowed one seat, can you please sit up?” The man groans, but stays where he is. The usher becoming impatient with the man says “Sir, if you…

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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door, where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance!” screams the husband. “It’s…

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Moshe wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to…

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A girl tells her mother after school

‘Mum, I got a gold star today for reciting the whole alphabet! The rest of my class only knows 3 or 4 letters! ‘Well done darling’ the girl’s mother replies….

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A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup.

As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red ‘H’ on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend…

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A man takes a pleasant stroll on a Friday evening… suddenly, the Devil himself pops up in front of him

and whispers, “Take all the money in your wallet, go to this casino, and put them on the number 27!” The man is first shocked, then becomes curious, and quickly…

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter

Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm – tell…

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A guy asked a girl in a university library:

A guy asked a girl in a university library:“Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice:“I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH…

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Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One of the guys said he was going to bug him.

He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a real tosser.” “Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.” Puzzled,…

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Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well.

Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news. Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense….

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