A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable.

However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they can’t afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to…

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The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’

The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed…

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A teacher walks up to the blackboard and writes DEFINITELY

She turns to the class and says, “Today we’ll be looking at the word ‘definitely’. Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I…

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Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together

One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, “Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The…

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An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river. The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer “What are the odds…

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Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears. “I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces. The first dinosaur thinks hard. “Alright,” he says,…

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An atheist goes to heaven

Baffled and full of questions he is being shown around by God. “Why am I here? I am an atheist.” “That does not matter, all good people end up here.”…

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A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize…

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My wife is an economist and I am an engineer.

I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said…

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A hunter kills and eats a bald eagle, and is arrested for violating the Endangered Species Act. He pleads guilty, and throws himself on the mercy of the court.

“Your Honor,” the hunter said, “I had no idea that it was illegal to kill and eat a bald eagle. If you let me go, I’ll never do it again.”…

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