Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.

The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends…

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The son of a bitch

Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself… “2+5, the son of a bitch is 7” “3+6, the son of a bitch is 9” His mother heard this & asked,…

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Three lawyers and three engineers are travelling by train to a conference.

The three lawyers buy a ticket each while the engineers by only one. The lawyers laugh at the engineers crying how can three people travel by train using only one…

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500 bricks on a plane

Q. There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off, how many left? A. 499 Q. What are the 3 simple steps of putting an elephant in a refrigerator?…

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A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize…

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Cancer!

Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately Doctor: Well, I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news… Karen: Don’t give me this lab…

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How Long?

This guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About two hours.” The…

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A boy is selling fish on a corner.

To get his customers’ attention, he begins yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.’”…

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Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the…

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A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.”

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to…

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