Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well.

Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news. Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense….

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As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: “5 lamb chops, please.”

Please.” Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a…

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A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

Passenger: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank Feldman… he’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank…

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Kevin the town idiot.

A guy is with a friend. He points to another guy down the street and says “Look, that’s the town idiot. I’ll show you. I do this every week” He…

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Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.

The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends…

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The son of a bitch

Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself… “2+5, the son of a bitch is 7” “3+6, the son of a bitch is 9” His mother heard this & asked,…

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Three lawyers and three engineers are travelling by train to a conference.

The three lawyers buy a ticket each while the engineers by only one. The lawyers laugh at the engineers crying how can three people travel by train using only one…

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500 bricks on a plane

Q. There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off, how many left? A. 499 Q. What are the 3 simple steps of putting an elephant in a refrigerator?…

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A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize…

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Cancer!

Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately Doctor: Well, I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news… Karen: Don’t give me this lab…

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