I had twelve bottles of whisky…
…and my wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else!So, I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I…
Letters between a father and son
Dear son; Your mother and I love you very much, and we miss you dearly ever since you went to prison. I especially miss you now that spring is here,…
Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One of the guys said he was going to bug him.
He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a real tosser.” “Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.” Puzzled,…
Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well.
Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news. Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense….
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: “5 lamb chops, please.”
Please.” Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a…
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank Feldman… he’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank…
Kevin the town idiot.
A guy is with a friend. He points to another guy down the street and says “Look, that’s the town idiot. I’ll show you. I do this every week” He…
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends…
The son of a bitch
Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself… “2+5, the son of a bitch is 7” “3+6, the son of a bitch is 9” His mother heard this & asked,…
Three lawyers and three engineers are travelling by train to a conference.
The three lawyers buy a ticket each while the engineers by only one. The lawyers laugh at the engineers crying how can three people travel by train using only one…