A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.

As they are undressing for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants. “Here, try these on,” he says. “What? Why?” she says. “Just put them on,” he insists. “They’re…

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3 men die and go to Heaven

St Peter meets them and starts reviewing their files. He starts talking to the first guy: “I see that you lived a good life, but you cheated on your wife…

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HELL EXPLAINED

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so…

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Two women go to heaven and meet St Peter

He told the two women you can do anything you want here in heaven but please do not step on a duck because they make a terrible noise and racket….

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Littl‌‌e J‌‌ohnn‌‌y w‌‌a‌‌s t‌‌ol‌‌d b‌‌‌‌y h‌‌i‌‌s f‌‌riend‌‌s t‌‌ha‌‌t a‌‌dult‌‌s h‌‌av‌‌e a‌‌‌‌ d‌‌ee‌‌p d‌‌ar‌‌k s‌‌ecre‌‌t a‌‌n‌‌d c‌‌a‌‌n b‌‌‌‌e e‌‌asil‌‌y m‌‌anipulated.

Johnn‌‌y d‌‌ecide‌‌s t‌‌‌‌o t‌‌es‌‌t i‌‌t‌‌. H‌‌‌‌e c‌‌ome‌‌s h‌‌ome‌‌, g‌‌oe‌‌s u‌‌‌‌p t‌‌‌‌o h‌‌i‌‌s m‌‌othe‌‌r a‌‌n‌‌d s‌‌ays‌‌, “‌‌Mom‌‌, I‌‌‌‌ k‌‌no‌‌w e‌‌verything.‌‌” M‌‌o‌‌m s‌‌hushe‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m a‌‌n‌‌d g‌‌ive‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m $‌‌10. “Jus‌‌t d‌‌on’‌‌t t‌‌el‌‌l D‌‌ad‌‌”…

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A man is sitting in a cafe

when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting “Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest”. The man runs out…

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A man dies, and wakes up on a beach…

There are girls playing beach volleyball, barbeques everywhere, laughter and joy. All of a sudden, Satan comes up to him. “Welcome to hell. Enjoy yourself, have a drink, have a…

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The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well” said the director, “we fill up…

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program. The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic,…

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An old man is selling watermelons…

His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10 A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. “That’d be 3 dollars”, says the old man. The young…

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