English to become the official European language
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of…
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The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. “We know it’s late, sir, but we have some information about your wife,” said one of the Mounties.
“Tell me! Did you find her!?” the husband shouted. The Mounties looked at each other. One said, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news…..
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Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas party.
He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to…
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No one believes seniors . . . Everyone thinks they are senile
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked…
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Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends…
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The son of a bitch
Henry was doing maths homework, saying to himself… “2+5, the son of a bitch is 7” “3+6, the son of a bitch is 9” His mother heard this & asked,…
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Three lawyers and three engineers are travelling by train to a conference.
The three lawyers buy a ticket each while the engineers by only one. The lawyers laugh at the engineers crying how can three people travel by train using only one…
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500 bricks on a plane
Q. There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off, how many left? A. 499 Q. What are the 3 simple steps of putting an elephant in a refrigerator?…
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A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize…
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Cancer!
Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately Doctor: Well, I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news… Karen: Don’t give me this lab…
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