A guy asked a girl in a university library:
A guy asked a girl in a university library:“Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice:“I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH…
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I had twelve bottles of whisky…
…and my wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else!So, I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I…
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Letters between a father and son
Dear son; Your mother and I love you very much, and we miss you dearly ever since you went to prison. I especially miss you now that spring is here,…
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Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One of the guys said he was going to bug him.
He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a real tosser.” “Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.” Puzzled,…
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Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well.
Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news. Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense….
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As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: “5 lamb chops, please.”
Please.” Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a…
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A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank Feldman… he’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank…
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Kevin the town idiot.
A guy is with a friend. He points to another guy down the street and says “Look, that’s the town idiot. I’ll show you. I do this every week” He…
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English to become the official European language
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of…
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The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. “We know it’s late, sir, but we have some information about your wife,” said one of the Mounties.
“Tell me! Did you find her!?” the husband shouted. The Mounties looked at each other. One said, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news…..
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