I think, I’m going to lose my drivers license…

and all just because of a stupid police officer… The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car: Officer: “License and registration, please, I think you…

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Little Johnny

Little Johnny is in school one day when his teacher tells the class that she wants to hear each of them say a little about their families, and specifically what…

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The Queen’s breasts

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Sid, the Dragon Slayer, obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his…

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A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a “Dear John” letter from his girlfriend.

In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. To add injury to the…

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A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.

As they are undressing for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants. “Here, try these on,” he says. “What? Why?” she says. “Just put them on,” he insists. “They’re…

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3 men die and go to Heaven

St Peter meets them and starts reviewing their files. He starts talking to the first guy: “I see that you lived a good life, but you cheated on your wife…

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HELL EXPLAINED

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so…

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Two women go to heaven and meet St Peter

He told the two women you can do anything you want here in heaven but please do not step on a duck because they make a terrible noise and racket….

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A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, “I played on my college’s golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?” No one wants to say ‘yes’, but they’re on the spot…

Finally, one man says, “Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m.” He figures the early tee-time will discourage her. The woman says this may be a problem and asks if…

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Littl‌‌e J‌‌ohnn‌‌y w‌‌a‌‌s t‌‌ol‌‌d b‌‌‌‌y h‌‌i‌‌s f‌‌riend‌‌s t‌‌ha‌‌t a‌‌dult‌‌s h‌‌av‌‌e a‌‌‌‌ d‌‌ee‌‌p d‌‌ar‌‌k s‌‌ecre‌‌t a‌‌n‌‌d c‌‌a‌‌n b‌‌‌‌e e‌‌asil‌‌y m‌‌anipulated.

Johnn‌‌y d‌‌ecide‌‌s t‌‌‌‌o t‌‌es‌‌t i‌‌t‌‌. H‌‌‌‌e c‌‌ome‌‌s h‌‌ome‌‌, g‌‌oe‌‌s u‌‌‌‌p t‌‌‌‌o h‌‌i‌‌s m‌‌othe‌‌r a‌‌n‌‌d s‌‌ays‌‌, “‌‌Mom‌‌, I‌‌‌‌ k‌‌no‌‌w e‌‌verything.‌‌” M‌‌o‌‌m s‌‌hushe‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m a‌‌n‌‌d g‌‌ive‌‌s h‌‌i‌‌m $‌‌10. “Jus‌‌t d‌‌on’‌‌t t‌‌el‌‌l D‌‌ad‌‌”…

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