A Guys sits down in restaurant and orders a bowl of chili

The waitress says, “Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl”. He looks over and sees that the guy’s finished his meal, but the bowl of chili…

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Two women who recently died were waiting at the Gates of Heaven

Woman 1: “So, how did you die?” Woman 2: “I froze to death.” Woman 1: “Wow, that must’ve been so painful. I’m so sorry.” Woman 2: “It was, but after…

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An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick…

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3 men were waiting in line to enter heaven

The angel at the gate asks the first man “how many times did you cheat on your wife?” “10 times” the man answers. The angel gives him the keys to…

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The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.

Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted by a child’s whisper, “Hello.” “Is your Mummy home?” he asked. “Yes,”…

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A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away.

At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They…

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A woman is badly burned in a car accident and requires a skin graft on her face.

Because of her injuries the doctors are unable to take skin from any part of her body, so they must rely on a donor. Her husband of 25 years volunteers…

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A bouncer is working on a Saturday night at a popular nightclub for household utensils…

… One of the regulars, a mirror, comes outside for a smoke and greets him. As they make small talk, a toilet approaches flaunting a pristine gold plated lid. The…

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A woman was out golfing and hit the ball deep into the woods.

When she went to look for it she found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you…

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A teenager has a crush on a girl, and decides to ask her to the prom.

The girls accepts, and the boy is over the moon. Because he wants this night to be perfect, he decides he needs to dress his best, so, a couple of…

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