Two women who recently died were waiting at the Gates of Heaven

Woman 1: “So, how did you die?” Woman 2: “I froze to death.” Woman 1: “Wow, that must’ve been so painful. I’m so sorry.” Woman 2: “It was, but after…

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An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick…

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3 men were waiting in line to enter heaven

The angel at the gate asks the first man “how many times did you cheat on your wife?” “10 times” the man answers. The angel gives him the keys to…

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A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away.

At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They…

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A woman is badly burned in a car accident and requires a skin graft on her face.

Because of her injuries the doctors are unable to take skin from any part of her body, so they must rely on a donor. Her husband of 25 years volunteers…

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A dwarf with a lisp goes to visit a stud farm.

“I’d like to buy a horth” He says to the owner of the farm. “What sort of horse?” Said the owner. “A female horth” The dwarf replies. So the owner…

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A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable.

However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they can’t afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to…

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The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’

The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed…

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A teacher walks up to the blackboard and writes DEFINITELY

She turns to the class and says, “Today we’ll be looking at the word ‘definitely’. Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I…

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A man and a woman are talking in the office

The man says: “I’m so tired from working, I wish I could get a day off.” The woman replies: “Don’t worry, I have a way of doing that. Just watch…

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