A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, “I played on my college’s golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?” No one wants to say ‘yes’, but they’re on the spot…
Finally, one man says, “Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m.” He figures the early tee-time will discourage her. The woman says this may be a problem and asks if…
Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated.
Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, “Mom, I know everything.” Mom shushes him and gives him $10. “Just don’t tell Dad”…
God is creating the world, and he talks to the Canadians
He says to them “You will have the best land ever. It is beautiful, in the summer it is warm and in the winter it snows beautiful snow flakes. It…
Two men are walking their dogs (a doberman and a chihuahua) when they see a restaurant.
They’re pretty hungry, do they decide to head in for a bite to eat. Unfortunately, they see a sign out front that says “NO DOGS ALLOWED”. The man with the…
A man is sitting in a cafe
when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting “Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest”. The man runs out…
A man dies, and wakes up on a beach…
There are girls playing beach volleyball, barbeques everywhere, laughter and joy. All of a sudden, Satan comes up to him. “Welcome to hell. Enjoy yourself, have a drink, have a…
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well” said the director, “we fill up…
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program.
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5lbs weight loss program. The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic,…
An old man is selling watermelons…
His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10 A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. “That’d be 3 dollars”, says the old man. The young…
There was a woman who had 100 kids..
She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids…