A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day…
She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread, made with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo….
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A mom takes her daughter to the doctor
The doctor says, “Okay, what seems to be the problem?” The mother says, “It’s my daughter Suzie. She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most…
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A husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?”
“We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.” “Yes”, she says, “I remember it well.” OK, he says, “How…
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A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
“Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking United” was the reply….
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A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him, so he walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing…
She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole and you’re a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.” He thanked her and went back to his golf….
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The first female president
The year is 2028 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Sarah Goldstein. She calls up her mother a few weeks…
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Jane and Erica are talking in heaven
“How did you die?” Jane asks Erica.She replies, “I froze to death.”“Oh, that’s terrible!” says Jane.“It wasn’t too bad, after a while you start to get a sort of peaceful…
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A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.
As they are undressing for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants. “Here, try these on,” he says. “What? Why?” she says. “Just put them on,” he insists. “They’re…
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The troubles of foreigners in Canada
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. “This is an outrage,” he complained. “The faucet marked ‘C’ gave me boiling water.”…
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Jack, a renown atheist, dies and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he’s greeted by Satan himself.
Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: “Welp, I’ve been wrong all my life and I guess I’m now to pay the price for my lack of faith”…
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