The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, “Okay. Go ahead.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n