{"id":3145,"date":"2022-04-23T10:32:43","date_gmt":"2022-04-23T10:32:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/?p=3145"},"modified":"2022-05-10T11:43:04","modified_gmt":"2022-05-10T11:43:04","slug":"eve-and-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/eve-and-god\/","title":{"rendered":"Eve and God"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Lord, I have a problem!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;What&#8217;s the problem, Eve?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I&#8217;m just not happy.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Why is that, Eve?&#8221; came the reply from above.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Lord, I am lonely, and I&#8217;m sick to death of apples.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;What&#8217;s a man, Lord?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He&#8217;ll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he&#8217;ll give you a hard time. But&#8230; he&#8217;ll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he&#8217;s aroused, but since you&#8217;ve been complaining, I&#8217;ll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won&#8217;t be too smart, so he&#8217;ll also need your advice to think properly.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Sounds great.&#8221; says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. What&#8217;s the catch, Lord?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Well&#8230; you can have him on one condition.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;What&#8217;s that, Lord?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;As I said, he&#8217;ll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring&#8230; So you&#8217;ll have to let him believe that I made him first. But remember, it&#8217;s our little secret&#8230; You know, woman to woman.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/JokePin-21-683x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3162\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/JokePin-21-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/JokePin-21-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/JokePin-21-768x1152.png 768w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/JokePin-21.png 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God. &#8220;Lord, I have a problem!&#8221; &#8220;What&#8217;s the problem, Eve?&#8221; &#8220;Lord, I know you created me and provided this&#8230; <!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3162,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[3,45,34],"class_list":["post-3145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes","tag-funny-story-around-the-world","tag-haha","tag-jokes"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3145","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3145"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3164,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3145\/revisions\/3164"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3162"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}