{"id":3054,"date":"2021-12-04T09:22:10","date_gmt":"2021-12-04T09:22:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/?p=3054"},"modified":"2021-12-05T15:11:21","modified_gmt":"2021-12-05T15:11:21","slug":"a-bouncer-is-working-on-a-saturday-night-at-a-popular-nightclub-for-household-utensils","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/a-bouncer-is-working-on-a-saturday-night-at-a-popular-nightclub-for-household-utensils\/","title":{"rendered":"A bouncer is working on a Saturday night at a popular nightclub for household utensils&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>&#8230; One of the regulars, a mirror, comes outside for a smoke and greets him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As they make small talk, a toilet approaches flaunting a pristine gold plated lid. The bouncer immediately lets him in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The mirror rolls his eyes as the toilet pushes through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Next, a limo pulls up and a washing machine steps out adorned in shining jewelry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She heads towards the door and the bouncer lets her in without question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The mirror scoffs and stares in utter contempt as the washing machine enters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A short time later, a dingy looking sink trudges towards the door. He looked worn out and had a large crack down the front of his bowl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The bouncer stops him and says, &#8216;Not tonight buddy&#8217;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The sink pleads to be let in but the bouncer scolds him for not even attempting to follow the dress code and again refuses entry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dejected, the sink steps away unsure of what to do with his night now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The mirror takes a pull on his cigarette, turns to the bouncer and says &#8216;You need to take a long, hard look at yourself&#8217;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;What do you mean?&#8217; replies the bouncer, taken aback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;That toilet you let in? He&#8217;s a big shot lawyer at a multinational corporation. Made his fortune shitting all over the little guy and only looking out for #1.&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>The mirror continued;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;The washing machine? She launders money for the cartel!&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The bouncer shuffles uncomfortably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The mirror takes another drag of his cigarette.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;But whatever, I don&#8217;t even mind that you let those guys in. My gripe is about the guy you left out&#8217; said the mirror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;Hey, what do you want me to do about that?&#8217; Defended the bouncer. &#8216;He was a mess!&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;That mess&#8217;, the mirror imitated in a sarcastic tone<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;Served 10 years active duty in the army. Got that crack taking a bullet for you and your country, now needs to collect disability to survive, and you just turned him away like he was nothing&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;You let in those horrible people who make yours and everybody else&#8217;s lives worse, but turned away the one guy who gave everything he had for the greater good&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The bouncer felt a huge pang of guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The mirror threw his cigarette to the ground, gave the bouncer and stern gaze and said &#8216;Let that sink in&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/JokePin-683x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3058\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/JokePin-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/JokePin-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/JokePin-768x1152.png 768w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/JokePin.png 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230; One of the regulars, a mirror, comes outside for a smoke and greets him. As they make small talk, a toilet approaches flaunting a pristine gold plated lid. The&#8230; <!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3058,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[62,3,34,15],"class_list":["post-3054","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes","tag-doctor","tag-funny-story-around-the-world","tag-jokes","tag-lol"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3054","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3054"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3054\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3059,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3054\/revisions\/3059"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3058"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3054"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3054"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3054"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}