{"id":3040,"date":"2021-11-20T06:02:52","date_gmt":"2021-11-20T06:02:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/?p=3040"},"modified":"2021-11-20T06:27:04","modified_gmt":"2021-11-20T06:27:04","slug":"an-old-soviet-communist-lies-on-his-death-bed-on-the-verge-of-death","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/an-old-soviet-communist-lies-on-his-death-bed-on-the-verge-of-death\/","title":{"rendered":"An old Soviet communist lies on his death bed, on the verge of death."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>His friends are gathered around him all somber. The old man turns to one of them and says, &#8220;Dimitri, remember in 1921 you were almost executed? Well, you should know that I ratted you out to the Cheka. I hope you forgive me.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Oh comrade, it is In the past and all is forgiven&#8221; says Dimitri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Communist then turns to another friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Petya, remember being sentenced in 1937 to 25 years in the gulag? Well, it was me who went to the NKVD. Please forgive me.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;No more hard feelings, my friend. You are forgiven,&#8221; says Petya.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Misha, I must confess to you that I had you sent to the penal battalion in 1942. I am terribly sorry about that day.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Please my friend, we all forgive you. You may go in peace,&#8221; says Misha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Thank you, comrades, for being with me throughout all these years,&#8221; says the old communist with a tear streaming down his face. &#8220;I don&#8217;t know where I&#8217;d be if it wasn&#8217;t for you. I\u2019m sorry for betraying you all, and I hope you will forgive me.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>His friends are visibly touched by his words. Finally, he gathers his last strength and says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;And in honor of our deep friendship I want you to fulfill my last wish. See that cactus plant on the windowsill? As soon as I die, I want you to take it and shove it up my ass.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just as his friends were about to say something the old communist took his last breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So Petya goes to the window, takes the cactus plant off and with the other two holding up the old communist\u2019s legs, shoves it up their dead friend&#8217;s butt. Suddenly, they hear a loud banging on the door followed by a gruff voice shouting:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Open up, it&#8217;s the police. We&#8217;ve received information that an old Bolshevik has been tortured to death.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/JokePin-7-683x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3050\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/JokePin-7-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/JokePin-7-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/JokePin-7-768x1152.png 768w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/JokePin-7.png 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>His friends are gathered around him all somber. The old man turns to one of them and says, &#8220;Dimitri, remember in 1921 you were almost executed? Well, you should know&#8230; <!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3050,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3040","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3040","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3040"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3040\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3052,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3040\/revisions\/3052"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3050"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3040"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3040"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3040"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}