{"id":2839,"date":"2021-05-01T12:23:10","date_gmt":"2021-05-01T12:23:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/?p=2839"},"modified":"2021-05-01T12:36:48","modified_gmt":"2021-05-01T12:36:48","slug":"i-was-desperate-and-i-couldnt-get-a-date-with-a-girl-to-save-my-life-until","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/i-was-desperate-and-i-couldnt-get-a-date-with-a-girl-to-save-my-life-until\/","title":{"rendered":"I was desperate and I couldn&#8217;t get a date with a girl to save my life until&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I swiped right on a blind date, a profile picture. She asked me to pick her up, so i did, but I wasn&#8217;t expecting much. I went up to the door expecting 400 lbs of desperation, but she answer the door 5 foot 2 with baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde curls and all the right curves in all the right places. I said WOW and gave her my name. She gave me hers, so i asked what she did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She said &#8220;I&#8217;m a Sunday school teacher.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I said &#8220;Well, I Ain&#8217;t never been with a Christian woman before but I&#8217;m open minded about the whole affair.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>So we got in my Corvette and i was trying to impress her now. I headed to the fancyest place in town that didn&#8217;t take reservations. I asked her if she&#8217;d like to smoke a joint while we wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She said &#8220;Heavens no! What would i tell my sunday school children?&#8221; And I apologized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I figure weed&#8217;s 50\/50 some people do some people don&#8217;t, so i took a few puffs and then we got a table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She ordered the lobster, I ordered the steak. I asked for the 2nd most expensive bottle of wine on the list, but when our waiter came to pour it, she declined saying &#8220;Heavens no! What would I tell my Sunday school children?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I knew right then and there it was a bust. We ate our pricey meals. We talked and laughed. Had a great time at dinnet bur I drank that whole pricey bottle by myself thinking her Christ was one helluva cock blocker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So I&#8217;m driving her home and we pass a cheap motel. I figure I&#8217;ve got nothing left to lose, so I say &#8220;Why don&#8217;t we get a room and fuck like bunnies?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>She says &#8220;I thought you&#8217;d never ask!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I say &#8220;really? What will you tell your Sunday school children?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She says, &#8220;The same thing I tell them every week&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>YOU DON&#8217;T HAVE TO DRINK AND SMOKE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Happy cake day: reposting my most liked joke. Hope you approve!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/JokePin-20-683x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2853\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/JokePin-20-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/JokePin-20-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/JokePin-20-768x1152.png 768w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/JokePin-20.png 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I swiped right on a blind date, a profile picture. She asked me to pick her up, so i did, but I wasn&#8217;t expecting much. I went up to the&#8230; <!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2853,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[3,34,15],"class_list":["post-2839","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes","tag-funny-story-around-the-world","tag-jokes","tag-lol"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2839","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2839"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2839\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2855,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2839\/revisions\/2855"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2853"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2839"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2839"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2839"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}