{"id":2348,"date":"2020-06-02T16:06:49","date_gmt":"2020-06-02T16:06:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/?p=2348"},"modified":"2020-06-02T16:06:51","modified_gmt":"2020-06-02T16:06:51","slug":"ralph-came-home-drunk-one-night-slid-into-bed-beside-his-sleeping-wife-and-fell-into-a-deep-slumber","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/ralph-came-home-drunk-one-night-slid-into-bed-beside-his-sleeping-wife-and-fell-into-a-deep-slumber\/","title":{"rendered":"Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,&#8221;You died in your sleep Ralph.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ralph was stunned. &#8220;I&#8217;m dead?No I can&#8217;t be! I&#8217;ve got too much to live for. Send me back!<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;St Peter said,&#8221; I&#8217;m sorry, but there&#8217;s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ralph was devastated, but begs St Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A rooster strolled past.&#8221;So you&#8217;re the new hen, huh? How&#8217;s your first day here?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Not bad,&#8221;replied Ralph the Hen,but I have this strange feeling inside, like I&#8217;m going to explode.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;You&#8217;re ovulating, explained the rooster.Don&#8217;t tell me you&#8217;ve never laid an egg before.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Never,&#8221;said Ralph.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Well just relax and let it happen,&#8221; says the rooster&#8221; It&#8217;s no big deal.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg \u2013 his Joy was overwhelming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell&#8230;&#8221;RALPH WAKE UP. YOU SHIT THE BED!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/jokePin-13-683x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2349\" width=\"249\" height=\"373\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/jokePin-13-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/jokePin-13-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/jokePin-13.png 735w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 249px) 100vw, 249px\" \/><\/figure>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,&#8221;You died in your sleep Ralph.&#8221; Ralph was stunned. &#8220;I&#8217;m dead?No I can&#8217;t be! I&#8217;ve got too much to live for&#8230;. <!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2349,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[3,45,34,15],"class_list":["post-2348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes","tag-funny-story-around-the-world","tag-haha","tag-jokes","tag-lol"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2348"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2350,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2348\/revisions\/2350"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2349"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}