{"id":1786,"date":"2019-09-23T10:50:18","date_gmt":"2019-09-23T10:50:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/?p=1786"},"modified":"2019-09-23T10:50:19","modified_gmt":"2019-09-23T10:50:19","slug":"i-went-to-the-pet-shop-and-the-owner-said-he-had-a-talking-centipede-for-sale","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/i-went-to-the-pet-shop-and-the-owner-said-he-had-a-talking-centipede-for-sale\/","title":{"rendered":"I went to the pet shop and the owner said he had a talking centipede for sale."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>\n\nI said \u2018no way, centipedes don\u2019t talk.\u2019 The owner promised me it was a talking centipede so I purchased it and took it home with me.\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>\n\nA little later in that evening I went up to it\u2019s tank and said \u2018alright mate, I\u2019m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?\u2019 The centipede said nothing, I scoffed and went to the pub.&nbsp;\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\n\nThe next evening I thought I\u2019d give it another try so I went to it\u2019s tank again and said \u2018alright mate, I\u2019m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?\u2019 Still absolutely no response from the centipede, so I went on my way, cursing the pet shop owner.\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>\n\nThe following evening I thought I would give it one more try, so I went over to it\u2019s tank and asked \u2018alright mate, I\u2019m just popping down the pub if you fancy a few pints?\u2019 The centipede replied \u2018I heard you the first time I\u2019m just putting my fucking shoes on\u2019\n\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/jokePin-12-1-683x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1788\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/jokePin-12-1-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/jokePin-12-1-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/jokePin-12-1.png 735w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I said \u2018no way, centipedes don\u2019t talk.\u2019 The owner promised me it was a talking centipede so I purchased it and took it home with me. A little later in&#8230; <!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1787,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[45,34,15],"class_list":["post-1786","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes","tag-haha","tag-jokes","tag-lol"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1786","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1786"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1786\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1789,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1786\/revisions\/1789"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1786"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1786"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1786"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}