{"id":1774,"date":"2019-09-19T08:46:00","date_gmt":"2019-09-19T08:46:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/?p=1774"},"modified":"2019-09-19T08:46:01","modified_gmt":"2019-09-19T08:46:01","slug":"its-getting-crowded-in-heaven-so-one-day-saint-peter-decides-to-only-accept-people-who-make-him-laugh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/its-getting-crowded-in-heaven-so-one-day-saint-peter-decides-to-only-accept-people-who-make-him-laugh\/","title":{"rendered":"It\u2019s getting crowded in heaven, so one day Saint Peter decides to only accept people who make him laugh."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A man came walking up to the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter said to him:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAlright bud, you\u2019re only getting in today if you can make me laugh, so why don\u2019t you tell me about how you died.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>The man looked at Saint Peter and said, \u201cOh man, it was awful! I was absolutely sure my wife was having an affair, so I left work early to come home and try to catch her in the act. When I got home, sure as shit there she was, naked on the bed! I looked all over the apartment, but I couldn\u2019t find the guy anywhere. So I went outside on our 25th story balcony, and there he was!! Hanging over the edge by his fingertips! So I ran inside, and grabbed my hammer and ran back outside and started smashing his hands and fingers with it! He finally let go, and he fell down 25 stories but he landed in some bushes, so I ran inside and using all of my might, I grabbed my refrigerator, picked it up, and threw it over the rail and on top of the guy, crushing and killing him!! But all of the strain and exertion from picking up the refrigerator gave me a heart attack and I died.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Saint Peter let out a faint chuckle, and since it was a crime of passion, he decided to let the poor soul in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>Another man came walking up to the pearly gates, and Saint Peter told this man the same thing\u2014that in order to get in, he was going to have to make Saint Peter laugh. So the second started to tell Saint Peter how he died.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOh man, it was awful! I was doing aerobics out on my 26th story balcony of my apartment, when all of a sudden a flock of birds came out of nowhere and started attacking me! I was trying to get away, but I fell over the edge of my railing! However, on my way down I managed to grab the railing of the apartment below mine&#8230;but then this maniac suddenly showed up and started smashing my hands and fingers with a hammer until I let go! Fortunately for me, I landed in some bushes, but then some guy dropped a freaking refrigerator on me!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Saint Peter chuckled again, let the second guy into heaven, and was realizing he has found a way he could really start enjoying his job! About that time, a 3rd man comes walking up to the pearly gates, and Saint Peter gave him the speech about needing to make him laugh, and asks him how he died.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOh man, you\u2019re never going to believe this shit! Alright, so picture this\u2014I\u2019m butt naked and hiding in a refrigerator&#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/jokePin-8-683x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1775\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/jokePin-8-683x1024.png 683w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/jokePin-8-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/jokePin-8.png 735w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px\" \/><\/figure>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man came walking up to the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter said to him: \u201cAlright bud, you\u2019re only getting in today if you can make me laugh, so why&#8230; <!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1775,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[45,34,15],"class_list":["post-1774","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes","tag-haha","tag-jokes","tag-lol"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1774","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1774"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1774\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1776,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1774\/revisions\/1776"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1775"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}