{"id":1695,"date":"2019-08-30T12:38:52","date_gmt":"2019-08-30T12:38:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/?p=1695"},"modified":"2019-09-02T06:51:56","modified_gmt":"2019-09-02T06:51:56","slug":"a-priest-is-sitting-inside-the-church-when-a-guy-comes-in-and-asks-to-be-confessed-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/a-priest-is-sitting-inside-the-church-when-a-guy-comes-in-and-asks-to-be-confessed-2\/","title":{"rendered":"A priest is sitting inside the church, when a guy comes in and asks to be confessed."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>\u201cVery well, my child,\u201d says the priest, as he leads the man into the confession booth, \u201cTell me about your sins.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWell, Father,\u201d says the guy, \u201cOn Monday, I was at my girlfriend\u2019s house, and, well\u2026 the two of us alone, the house empty\u2026 I sinned, Father.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t worry, child,\u201d says the priest, \u201cIt\u2019s perfectly normal to have such desires and share them with your partner. Nothing serious, just say two prayers and you will be cleansed of your sins.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBut Father,\u201d continues the man, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t end there. On Tuesday, I was at my girlfriend\u2019s house again, but she had gone out with her mates, and the only one there was her sister, and, well\u2026 the two of us alone, the house empty\u2026 I sinned again, Father.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOh, child,\u201d says the Father, \u201cYou must be strong and fight those urges! Eight prayers shall cleanse you of your sins.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBut Father,\u201d says the bloke again, \u201cOn Wednesday, I was at my girlfriend\u2019s house again, and she wasn\u2019t there then either, and the only one at home was her mum, and, well\u2026 the two of us alone, the house empty\u2026 Again I sinned, Father.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cGood Lord,\u201d says the priest, \u201cChild, you must think about what you do, so pray-\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBut Father,\u201d says the bloke, \u201cOn Thursday, I was at my girlfriend\u2019s house again, and the whole family had gone to the shop, and the only one there was her aunt, and, well\u2026 the two of us alone, the house empty\u2026 I sinned yet again, Father.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The priest falls silent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAnd then,\u201d continues the bloke, \u201cOn Friday, I was at her house again, and they had gone out for the weekend and the only one there was her granny, and , well\u2026 the two of us alone, the house empty\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The priest still did not answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAnd on Saturday,\u201d said the bloke, \u201cI went to her house again, and there was nobody there except for her father, and, well\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The man awaits a reply, but upon hearing none, he exits the booth \u2013 only to find the priest up on the belfry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cFather,\u201d he calls, \u201cWhat are you doing up there? I haven\u2019t finished!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cBack off, I\u2019m not coming down,\u201d says the priest, \u201cThe two of us alone, the Church&#8217;s fucking empty\u2026 and I don\u2019t want you to sin anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cVery well, my child,\u201d says the priest, as he leads the man into the confession booth, \u201cTell me about your sins.\u201d \u201cWell, Father,\u201d says the guy, \u201cOn Monday, I was&#8230; <!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1697,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[45,34,15],"class_list":["post-1695","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes","tag-haha","tag-jokes","tag-lol"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1695","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1695"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1695\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1719,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1695\/revisions\/1719"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1697"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1695"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1695"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1695"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}