{"id":1646,"date":"2019-08-23T17:43:26","date_gmt":"2019-08-23T17:43:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/?p=1646"},"modified":"2019-08-23T17:44:34","modified_gmt":"2019-08-23T17:44:34","slug":"a-woman-driving-along-at-speed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/a-woman-driving-along-at-speed\/","title":{"rendered":"A woman driving along at speed"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>She passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk &amp; asked, &#8216;What&#8217;s your hurry?&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>She replied, &#8216;I&#8217;m late for work.&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;Oh yeah,&#8217; said the cop, &#8216;what do you do?&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;I&#8217;m a Rectum Stretcher,&#8217; she responded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The cop stammered, &#8216;A what?\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;A Rectum Stretcher!&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;And just what does a rectum stretcher do?&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;Well,&#8217; she said, &#8216;I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it&#8217;s about 6 feet&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot arsehole?&#8217; he asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8216;You give him a radar gun &amp; park him behind a bridge\u2026<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>She passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the&#8230; <!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1647,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[45,34,15],"class_list":["post-1646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes","tag-haha","tag-jokes","tag-lol"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1646"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1646\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1649,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1646\/revisions\/1649"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1647"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}