{"id":1359,"date":"2019-07-18T12:02:22","date_gmt":"2019-07-18T12:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/?p=1359"},"modified":"2019-07-18T12:23:33","modified_gmt":"2019-07-18T12:23:33","slug":"i-swiped-right-on-a-girl-without-a-picture-and-we-matched","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/i-swiped-right-on-a-girl-without-a-picture-and-we-matched\/","title":{"rendered":"I swiped right on a girl without a picture, and we matched."},"content":{"rendered":"\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>So after a brief chat i went to go pick her up. I wasn&#8217;t expecting much, probably 300 lbs with bad skin, but hey, I was so desperate it was this or join an incel chatroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I walked up to the door and lo and behold, 5&#8217;2&#8243;, baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, all the right curves in all the right places. I couldn&#8217;t believe my luck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I asked her what she did for a living. She said she taught sunday school. Now I never had me a Christian girl, but I&#8217;m open minded so I took her to dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On the way, I lit a joint and asked her if she puffs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Oh heaven&#8217;s no, what would I tell my Sunday school children.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n\n\n\n<p>I said okay, weed&#8217;s 50\/50 some people do some people don&#8217;t. And I took her to the best restaurant I knew. I ordered the steak, she ordered the lobster. I asked for the second most expensive bottle of wine on the menu. When the waitress came to pour, She said she didn&#8217;t drink.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I said &#8220;you don&#8217;t drink?!?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Oh heaven&#8217;s no, what would I tell my Sunday school children.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Excellent food, sparkling conversation but i&#8217;m bummed out, I don&#8217;t know what to do with a girl like this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So I&#8217;m driving her home and pass a cheap motel, I figure, what have I got to lose. So i ask:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;wanna get a room and knock boots?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She says: I thought you&#8217;d never ask!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I say: Really? What are you gonna tell your Sunday school children?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She says: The same thing I tell them every week. You don&#8217;t have to drink and do drugs to have a good time!<\/p>\n\n\n\n <div style=\"margin-top:50px; margin-bottom:5px; text-align:center; color:#c1bdbd;\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/div>\r\n<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script>\r\n<!-- Jokes -->\r\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\r\n     style=\"display:block\"\r\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-6695910881285465\"\r\n     data-ad-slot=\"9339555086\"\r\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\r\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\r\n<script>\r\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\r\n<\/script>\r\n<\/br><\/br><\/br>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So after a brief chat i went to go pick her up. I wasn&#8217;t expecting much, probably 300 lbs with bad skin, but hey, I was so desperate it was&#8230; <!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1360,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[45,34,15],"class_list":["post-1359","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes","tag-haha","tag-jokes","tag-lol"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1359","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1359"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1359\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1971,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1359\/revisions\/1971"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1359"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1359"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getfunwith.com\/story\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1359"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}